Redefining Happiness: What Are You Really Chasing?

Let’s have a quick chat about happiness—the thing we’re all chasing, right? But here’s a question for you: are you chasing your happiness, or are you still running after the idea of happiness you had years ago—or worse, someone else’s idea of what happiness should be?

Think about it. When you were a kid, happiness might have been staying up late and eating as much ice cream as you could get away with. Then, as a teenager, it was probably about fitting in, acing tests, or impressing that one person who didn’t even know you existed. And as adults? Well, we’re often told that happiness looks like a big house, a fancy car, a prestigious job, or a perfect family. But here’s the thing: happiness isn’t static. It evolves as we do.

Yet sometimes, we don’t notice that our definition of happiness has shifted. It’s like wearing a pair of shoes that don’t fit anymore. They might’ve been your favourite once, but now they pinch and hurt, and you keep wondering why you’re uncomfortable. Maybe it’s because you’re still squeezing yourself into an old version of what you thought would make you happy.

Here’s a story. A friend of mine always dreamed of being a lawyer. It was her childhood goal, and she worked tirelessly to achieve it. She got the degree, landed a high-paying job, and climbed the corporate ladder. On paper, she had it all. But one day, she told me, “I don’t even know if I wanted this or if it was just something I convinced myself I should want.” Turns out, what made her happiest was baking—yes, baking. She started small, making cakes for friends, and now she owns her own bakery and says she’s never felt more alive. The dream she was chasing wasn’t even hers anymore—it was an old version of her happiness.

It’s okay to realise that what made you happy 5, 10, or 20 years ago doesn’t resonate with you anymore. Life changes us. Experiences shape us. And happiness? It’s fluid. It’s meant to grow with you. What lit you up in your twenties might not spark the same joy in your forties. And that’s not failure—it’s growth.

So, how do you know if you’re chasing the right happiness? Start by checking in with yourself. Ask: Does this still feel right? Does this bring me joy, or am I just going through the motions because I think I should? Be brutally honest with yourself. If the answer doesn’t sit well, it might be time to let go of the old and redefine what happiness looks like for you now.

And here’s the beautiful part: redefining happiness doesn’t mean you’ve wasted time. Every step, every pursuit, even the ones that didn’t turn out how you expected, has brought you closer to knowing yourself. Those experiences weren’t detours; they were lessons, building blocks for understanding what truly matters to you.

So, if you’ve been chasing an old idea of happiness, pause. Breathe. Take a moment to ask yourself what happiness really means to you now—not five years ago, not to your parents, your friends, or Instagram influencers—but to you. And when you figure that out, give yourself permission to pursue it unapologetically. Because life is too short to wear shoes that don’t fit.